glory and praise to destroy the wicked

some increments of time

moments building centuries

tides of outside

roll in

crashing

smashing

consuming

bringing varieties

of parasitic assholes

tapeworms feeding

making a delectable meal

of life and laughter and love

the beauty that pulses

the light that connects

us

the clan of crusaders

the thinkers and shakers

we band of doers

seeing wrong

smelling pain

tasting moral injustice

touching deceit

refusing ignorance

refusing lethargy

refusing invitations of ease

screaming screeching howling

bound in kinship by choice

born for love and honor and valor

intuition of trust and hope and faith

in crisis and in captivity

kith and consaguinity never too far

breakable but never be broken

when shadows whisper

lies and loathing and temptations

promising heaven and pricing utopia

just follow the yellow brick road

breath deep in fields of red poppies

and be cherished in christ

fools we are

but foolish we are not

we are happily damned

rejoicing in our wretchedness

dancing together

covered in mud and blood

we are embodied

tisiphone

megaera

alecto

nemisis

eris

hecate

demeter

persephone

thanatos

gaia

agdistis

cybele

attis

we are the overlooked

we are the forgotten

we are the secret

marching on tip-toes

battleground bound

to raze and eliminate

the separatist dogma

we are the paradigm shift

23 biological x threads

i can become befuddled

addled

turned upside down and sideways

it is almost

but not quite

just dancing the boundary

of my own insanity

for decades

for ten year increments of time

i have listened to it all

judgments with no basis

hatred of everything

unhappy rantings at others’ happiness

there is always something

something incorrect

something immoral

something different

they are:

too black

too mezzzkin

too indian (“uppity mezzzkins”)

too poor (while your children were hungry and the toilet falling through the floor)

too gay

too dyke-ish

too loud

too quiet

too fucked up

too stingy with get fucked up inducers

too young

too old

too stupid

too smart

too woman

too man

too

too

too

too

ranting and stomping

ruining relationships

locking out everything

locking out  everyone

sitting cross-legged

screaming to no one

because it was unfair

raising daughters

to hate women

and to hate men

spinning lies and webs

stirring the cauldron

the art of blending

and seeming to live

i wish i never saw you

i wish i would have stopped

or never started looking

i wish i could separate

and not give a fuck

i wish i could smile

during our talks and be merry

i wish i could hate you

really hate you for your offenses

i wish that i was cold and steel

and i could be joyful

while you self destruct

i wish i didn’t know your sickness

i wish i didn’t know your weakness

you are horrible and cruel

but you are just a scared child

unable to do or think or be

it’s poorly designed armor

there is an unpurgeable creature

living breathing eating

it is my parasite of you

and despite it all

or because of it all

i walk in my flesh

the person i am

i will hold your hand

and hug you

and love hate you always

because we live in each other

now the sun can shine

just love me

love me

like you are going to war

love me

like it’s the end of it all

love me

like in french movies

love me

love me

love me

like you are starving

love me

like it’s almost time

love me

like you paid for it

love me

like a junkie with five bucks

love me

love me

love me

like a the fresh wind

love me

like the first snow flake

love me

like the smell of the beach

love me

like an autumn moon

love me

like being lost in baggage claim

love me

love me

love me

like a drive from old orchards beach

love me

like a new song

love me

like skittles

love me

like the smell of a campfire

love me

like cool water in august

you make my heart ready

you make my eyes see

you are more beautiful

then all of nature combined

my sparkling fairy

with glitter laughter

and dancing eyes

you are a song

and a heat

and when you love me

i become alive again

the beautiful

birth of venus

odd man out and lessons learned with ladybugs

the distinction

lines and boundries

one side

or another

team captians

and the choosing

some in gold

others green

each holding

virtues and morals

locked in tin boxes

never evolving

i sit on the grass

odd man out

subscribing to none

other than my own

they forgot to teach me

how to smile and giggle

when i see horrific acts

they didn’t teach me

not to see tears

or to pretend they were rivers

instead of pain and fear

they forgot to tell me

i am not supposed to think

it was too late to learn

not to cry with others

even those who’s ammunition

arrows spears knives of words

protruded from my skin

it was much too late

to learn to hate them

i was not instructed

in camoflouge

to melt into avergae

what they told me

they never forgot

to remind me

i am less than

i am ugly

i am unwanted

i am unclean

i am the measuring stick

so in comparrison

they look wonderful

i am the reflection

in the funhouse mirror

short fat ugly trollish

they never forgot

those lessons

taught in english

taught in german

taught daily

even still

no uniform

no green

no gold

just a compass

and grass

and silence

i love your breath on my neck

the eye in the sky

gathered collected

calculated

data, enzymes

herky jerkies

all to be deciphered

soon enough

the wires removed

plastic tubes reclaimed

the flat land

void of oak and maple

the horizon

the warm fall air

the truckstops

all psuedo-comfort

and false teeth

making fake smilles

void of compassion

no niches to hide hope

but too many creeps

and abundance of crawlies

used car salesmen smirks

gold-like pinkie-ring

and chest hair

when we

settle back in

routines and holidays

vacation

travel

smells of our beautiful life

the indignities fall away

the indecent melt

brilliance only remains

i want to bathe

in the light

i want to twist

in the air

one day we

will roll down a hill

in moist green grass

one day we

will capture laughter

in mason jar

everyday

far as long as

the sun rises and sets

i will see you

full of light and love

a kindness unseen before

bending the knees of gods

rain writes your melody

as the world sings

isle of emeralds

temptress

lovers for lovers

siren’s voices

healing and shadowed

clear and crisp

a mid-fall morning

plans and fortunes

means and measures

of all we can

the hope of the ignorant

free from worry

no accountability

wrapped warmed

and forgetting

all things

pale and dull

replacing with tokens

and trinkets and tinsel

high gloss

life that shimmers

iridescent happiness

and shining hope

bright letters

and bleached teeth

giving direction

instruction

intuition bought

and

love taxable

cotton candy and destruction

the whispers

words so soft

floating music

tales and lunacy

i remember days

i called you friend

before the pomp

before the lies

before the malice

i remember me

cage battles with bigots

but that is not all

i remember much more

screams with no sound

fear of my name

i remember

my soul cold and wet

accusations without merit

abominable destruction

a wrecking ball

smashing all i know

turning truth into dust

despite the pain

humiliation, shunning

between us

there is no hate

there is no love

there is too much loss

and too many boggarts

i do hope you find

sanctuary and refuge

the stones you gathered

and distributed

thrown with expert precision

killing much

damaging more

still covered in my naivety

are heavy in the palms

of those who you once called friend