amy doll face

amy is my partner.  which of course makes her, in my opinion, the most fantastic woman in the world.  but i am not alone in my admiration for her.  there are very few ppl who meet her and have anything but positive things to say about her.  she is unlike most women, especially most women that i admire.

amy was born into a blue collar family in peru, maine, an incredibly small town in rural maine.  her parents were high school sweethearts, and the picture perfect parents.  she has a brother who is a couple of years older than her.  amy’s dad john is a good-hearted fella with a wicked sense of humor.  amy’s mom cathy is quiet and a bit conniving but in a good way; she sneaks stuff into john’s food that he swears he hates (being incredibly pickie eaters is a genetic attribute to the dolloff family) and she is fantastic at keeping secrets;  cathy can plan a surprise party for just about anyone, that sort of sweet-conniving.  i have never heard her speak rudely or coarsely to anyone. i have never even heard her raise her voice, but everyone else assures me it has happened at least once in the past.  john works in the lumber industry.  cathy was a stay at home mom for quite awhile, then she took a job working at an insurance place.  dale, now the father of 2 of the most precious little girls in the world, is a great dad!  he is a quite different politically than i am, but he has no ill-intent towards anyone, really.  he just wants to live his life, work his job, love his lady, and raise his kids.  i am also completely convinced that if anyone would attempt to harm me, amy or our boys he would intervene.

amy’s family is very close.  they have bbq’s, picnics, get-togethers, bonfires, and general parties ALOT!  there is always an aunt or an uncle around and a few cousins.  they talk.  they send each other christmas cards.  they support each other and love each other very deeply.  it is really a site to behold.  so amy was raised in a very loving and nurturing environment.  she is the only woman i have ever met who has not been directly impacted by sexual abuse.  btw, those women still do exist.  she was not tormented as a child, not bullied w the exception of dale’s immature ribbing.  amy has never suffered from any mental illness-no depression, no anxiety, nothing. everything she did she was encouraged to do.  she had a ton of ppl who showed up to sports events and cheered for her.  even her aunts and uncles who lived in other parts of the country, were still quite involved in her daily life.  it is amazing, really.

amy loves sports,  women’s soccer and volleyball are her favorites.  she actually majored in sports and recreation in college.  yes, that is correct sports and recreation.  when she can get away with it she will still watch any major sports event on television.  this can cause a bit of a stir-i loathe sports, mostly bc i suck at them, amy loves sports mostly bc she rocks at them.  there is not a sport or physical activity that she cannot really enjoy.  she loves to be outside and active-canoeing, hiking, swimming, bocce ball, a nice game of croquet…all are so very fun and fulfilling to her.

amy came out after she joined the air national guard.  her family supported her.  it was not just tolerate, it is way deeper than that, it is support.  they have no illusions that her partners, past and myself, are just close friends that let the lines get blurry.  they do not treat her any different.  as a matter of fact, most of her family has embraced her as brave and strong.  she was in an all lesbian band for quite sometime and her parents would go and see them play, and would laugh even at songs that would make me blush such as “good girls go to heaven, bad girls go down”, a song about catholic school girls and nuns.  she attended college and lived in machias, a town who’s population of gay ppl is staggering, and a bit odd even to myself-seriously, for a town of 1,000 there were at least 200 gay/lesbian/queer identified ppl.  it’s something you notice.  she had never really faced homophobia until we moved to oklahoma.

amy has one of the most rare gifts i have ever encountered.  it is something i have never come upon before, maybe i had and i just never appreciated it in others…either way, she is the embodiment of neutrality.  she has opinions.  she has original thought.  she just does not hold her opinions or thoughts above that of anyone else.  she can always, and that is no exaggeration, see where the other side is coming from and sees their argument as valid to them.  not to say that their opinions will sway her opinion, sometimes it does sometimes it doesn’t, but the fact that she is honestly open to other perspectives is a very unique quality.

for example: amy is prochoice, very prochoice.  she believes it is noone else’s business what happens in the body of another.  we have gone to rallies for women’s rights.  she has marched, made signs, talked to ppl, etc.  it is something she believes in.  but when face to face, or reading rants of prolife ppl, she listens.  she does not listen to build an argument.  she listens bc what these ppl are saying is as valid to them as her beliefs are to her.  she asks them honest questions to better understand, again not to build an argument to throw at them about five minutes down the line, but simple for the sake of understanding.

amy has taught me so much!  she has taught me that ppl listen more when you whisper than when you yell.  she has taught me to step away from my notions of right long enough to understand that i am not the only person who is right (that one still sticks in my craw a bit but hey i am trying), she has taught me that when combating ideas and philosophies you are combating ppl’s beliefs that are usually so deep-seeded they can’t see past them to understand the damage they are doing.  i have learned a bit of patience.  but most of all, i have learned about love.  and innocence. and beauty.  i have learned that two ppl can be as opposite as day and night but when together they form the most fantastic vivid colors the world has ever known.


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