sticks and stones

juggling knives

that is some dangerous business

with the capacity of death

even worse, constant mutilation

getting caught in the muscles

tearing through the safety

tearing through the serenity

piercing flesh

knives screaming

whore, cunt, stupid

wretched unworthy bitch

sitting on the floor

pulsing and writhing

trying to push guts

back into an abdomen

sewing it back up

using teeth to tighten

the dental floss

trying to close the wound

maybe it should be heat

let it melt

let it swim back together

i see it in the mirror

behind the blue eyes

of the stranger

that lives in the glass

her scars remarkable

protruding from the flesh

i lie to her

she can’t handle truth

i tell her she is beautiful

she knows better

the lady all length and width

horizon and vertical

with no depth

i whisper to her

“you are worthy”

she screams back

“don’t quit your day job asshole!”

veins popping purple faced

exposing those times

when the knives fell

when she did it on purpose

pulling steel against the flesh

pushing it to the tilt

inside her guts

because that is what she is

that is all she knows

and still i lie to her

telling her she is going

one day to be ok

she can still be beautiful

we both know the line

we both see the scam

but speaking the truth

to her is too cruel

so we juggle knives

of words and actions

scarring the tissue

tearing the fiber

and chaining the soul





  1. Punx In Solidarity · November 1, 2013

    Could be a hardcore song! Who wrote this cakelee?

    • cakeleevannila · November 1, 2013

      thanks! i wrote this. if i am not the author of something i try to give as much info as i can about the person. it is important to me that ppl get the credit they deserve for the beauty they produce. i am lucky enough to have friends who are amazing artists! i really try to promote their work as much as possible. i see them struggle to come up with the exact right word, pull their hair out bc they can’t get shading right, or burn a peice of art that is amazing to me bc it’s imperfect to them. i watch ted and amy (my exhusband and my partner) practice songs until their fingertips are bruised and the frustration when your fingers can’t make a chord. and although i am totally anti-copyright, i just can’t imagine taking that away from the artist or the art.

  2. Anonymous · November 2, 2013

    Hell yeah! This would make a great song….

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