when i went to the neurologist the first time he gave me a drug called amantadine which is used to help ppl with parkinsons. i took it when i had the psuedo parkinsons last year and it did wonders, and i have to say that it is working out this time too. my dysarthia is getting so much better and i am getting the muscle tone in my face back! these are all great signs!
i am still having a tremendous amount of pain, and it seems like every other day i am getting a new infection on my right leg that once the swelling has gone down leaves black purplish spots for months. i am still having issues with nausea and the feeling of being drunk and the sweaty, room spinning as if i drank 4 bottles of maddog 20/20-that is the only other time i felt like this. i am still easily exhausted and spiking fevers. i had plenty of energy this morning, but now i am pretty unstable which leaves me down for the count and us having to reschedule dinner since i am the only one who knows how to make tamales in the house.
i was able to go and have coffee with a group of friends yesterday, and not only keep up with the conversation i was able to participate in it. that felt wonderful! we had a great time with loads of laughter and social political discussions. even when i was stuttering so bad it took over a minute for me to say a 5 word sentence, my friends always listened patiently. i know that doesn’t sound like a big deal but it really is when you are in the situation i am in. ppl stop listening and start filling in the blanks when your speech is stuck, taking your ideas and manipulating them to fit their mentality.
i have to admit it does scare me a bit that the parkinsons medicine is helping-not that i don’t want help, i don’t want parkinsons. i know there is alot of things that are worse out there than having parkinsons but it is my biggest fear. i lived a hopeless nightmare for months, deteriorating constantly. i know what that feels like. and while this feels much different than that for the most part…i am still afraid.