i just want sleep

feet dragging in cement

5 mile uphill trudge

20 ppl on my back

exhaustion breaking

the pressure  valve

while the words

bubble out like lava

handfuls of

little blue gel pills

forgetting to dream

dreaming to forget

the processor broken

against the wall

of bone

calcified into stone

zipping zagging zonking

too many times

riding the red  trail

between bed and the world

pacing the floor

from the corner

of my blue eyes

watching the walls

move shake and shimmy

the shadows in the dark

like a belly dancer

in the mirror

an unsteady pulse

resounding through me

throbbing heartache

picking up pace

shedding the skin

of the night

leaving it on the floor

in a heap until tomorrow

counting sheep, birds

grains of sand and stars

no respite, no reflection

legs dance and muscles jerk

with no force

desperate effort

jolting momentum

on the downward swing

those spending quick

sputtering, hacking, coughing

until the fumes run out

the engine shuts off

swallowing down handfuls

diphenhydramine

diazepam

alprazolam

zolpidem

secobarbital

with sleep still evading

capture

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