psychic mummification-the hunting of my soul

a clan of thieves a den of vipers

devils rising out of the ground

riding the waves of lava and destruction

emmitting sulfer and fire from every pore

engulfing all existing in the toxic

caustic fumes dripping the life off bones

the children effected and taught the lies

of self loathing and self doubt, feeling unworthy

it is criminal what you have done to them

what you have done to me and mine

the never ending battle against self

for the legitimacy of self preservation

leaving the question “what am i worth?”

the answer is a shiny sign in neon lights

“you are worth nothing, zero, zilch, noda”

so life is adjusted, changed, forced evolution

no longer willing or able to go into the store

or the bakery and definitely not the beauty shop

living under pseudonyms wearing wigs and glasses

don’t look anyone in the eye, head down

rouge and lipstick a shadow here a highlight there

and paint on the eyebrows with liquid coal

maybe they won’t see  or recognize, unable to recall

maybe it will just be another person in a car

life and love readjusted, family rebuilt

ego shattered, 100 shards are all that remain

bound, tied and collected the duct tape holding it all

the terrible darkness that is you and your club

a concept born within me

surviving on my blood sweat and tears

it’s intention

a respite from the hateful, an oasis, refuge, retreat

a community bound together

meeting, talking, supporting, picnics in the park

dances, laughter, karaoke and birthday songs

it was naive of me not to see the insidious nature

the treacherous killer lurching behind the scenes

rumors, ghost stories and lies

created to tell the others

provoking fear and disgust

aimed directly at my head, just one clean shot

relocating, name change, and body guard

somehow you manage to find me among

the millions of people

sniffing me out, circling closer

a group of sharks ready to feed

no apologies offered for the threats to my son

for the injustices forged

not even a whisper of regret slips from your mouth

no remorse, no excuses

the funeral for the one i was before all of this-

the passionate, loving,funny girl

brave and full of excitement

a silly carbon based idiot with dreams of equality

last rites of that person performed months ago

all that is left a hollow shell and jaded memory

the pride and joy and friendships and love

all gathered together, a pile of the old me

a few gallons of gasoline strike the match

leaving suffocating smoke and the smell of flesh

the smell of destruction hanging in the air

then you come asking for help, hands cupped

a handout from the bitch who breaks laws of humanity

a bitch you burned at the stake, someone dead

i don’t think i want to know you any more than i do

i don’t think i want to be in your fucked up crew

really appreciate the thought and all but hell no

there will be no more chances handed out

there is one thing that i can guarantee, a pact and promise

the next time i see you my fist will smash your face

i will know the taste of your skin and flowing of your blood

i will rip your trachea out and tie your forked tongue

you might want to forget me, it’s in your best interest

to stay clear because the monster left inside my skin

will gleefully make you pay, and when i am done

i will sing and laugh as i dance upon your grave

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5 comments

  1. jmlol · February 22, 2014

    love it!

  2. Teddy Rannila · February 22, 2014

    it’s sad that the person this was written about is too stupid and selfish and self-centered to ever understand this poem.

  3. Susie · February 22, 2014

    Wow! So powerful.

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