i don’t even know where or how to start this, so if i ramble or make confusing statements, just keep reading bc the answer might be hidden and if not, you can always ask me. so here it goes folks, it’s story time!
yesterday i had to go to the gp, which is never a good warm fuzzy experience. and as usual the dr’s hands flew up into the air indicating “hell, i don’t know!” at least yesterday was the physician’s assistant and not the actual dr. the pa at least listens to me. we left with nothing. no answers, no help for symptoms, not even a little pamphlet produced by some money hungry drug company whoring their product to the public. it was disheartening to say the least. i was told to take medications that don’t work for me, wait to see the mobility neurologist, “that looks like it’s painful.” and “there is nothing else we can do.” so great! thanks, fella that is helpful!
i came home and there was a package addressed to amy and i.. amy beat me to the bedroom and when i walked in there the package had been opened-this is not weird for us bc we get so very excited to get mail! amy was sitting on the bed and looked very emotional-amy doesn’t really get emotional, it’s gotta be big! she looked up at me and said “i think you need to look at this.” it sent a shiver down my spine. all i could think of was the day i got the letter from my dad telling me he committed suicide and his final words to our family. i thought one of our friends had been in a bad situation and this was a something special of their’s. i brace myself and walk to the bed.
amy tells me to take the top item out. it is a scarf w pirate skulls on it in the colors of omicron delta pi-a human rights, co-ed fraternity. this was not unusual either, we get many things like this. except the fraternity is full of some of my best friends, so the whole “last item” deal was really stirring around in my gut. i pulled out the second item, as instructed by amy. it was another scarf, same colors. i was seriously scared at this point, then she hand me a scroll. i almost puked.
the human brain is extremely complex, and we have many thoughts and ideas and emotions and reactions in the matter of milliseconds. it seemed i simultaneously saw all of my friends and loved one’s from this organization. there are certain ppl that if anything were to happen with them i would crack down the middle, spilling my guts out onto the floor. these ppl had never turned me away when i needed help. they had just accepted me inviting me into their homes and lives. these are ppl that i honestly love with all of my heart and soul. even if were someone that i was not personally close to or had even met, this is amy’s family, her brothers and sisters, her comrades. it would be devastating to her, meaning it would be devastating to me and our other friends. i was shaking so badly that amy had to take the ribbon off. i was going to tear something up. she unrolled the scroll and handed it to me.
it was not a suicide letter or the items of ppl we love bc something tragic had happened. it was a letter informing me that the fraternity had voted me in as an honorary member. reading it the first time i didn’t really know what it was saying. i read it again, making sure i was looking at the letters forming the words forming the thoughts being conveyed from them to me. i had read it correctly. i also got my colors!
the letter said “in recognition of your tireless work within human rights and advocacy…” i stopped processing for a bit, just staring at the paper in my hand, trying very hard to understand. this is a huge deal! there are not many people that are even considered to be honorary members. i thought that amy must have bought some ppl off…used some jedi mind tricks.
“did you know about this? did you do this?”
“i am not the one who nominated you.”
the tears i had been holding back suddenly broke the dam swimming down my face. the people in this group do so much! and there are many people that i respect and love so deeply that not talking to them in a bit makes me feel sorta empty. and here they were telling me that i had done so many good things, the organization wanted to have me in their family. i was baffled and confused and a whole bunch of other things all at once, but the emotion that hit me the strongest was honored and loved. this was truly the most kind and humbling event in my life!
when you do what i do,it is never for praise or self fulfillment of ego. you do it bc it is the right thing to do, because if i don’t do it i am consenting to action and ideas that i cannot stand behind. i feel as though it is my obligation to the world to fight to make this a better, safer, more acceptable place to be. for the most part i try to stay out of the limelight, of course there have been times that i have had to take a public stance and put my name and face to certain things-when we started the pride here i was the president therefore the spotlight was on me, and that was cool and i wasn’t all agoraphobic or whatever, i just don’t feel like i do anything that isn’t necessary. so when a group of ppl have gotten together and decided that i have done enough to justify allowing me into their family, words don’t portray the feelings and thoughts. words falls short.
i am honored to be a member of this family, to walk along side of some of my heroes. i am so overcome with joy and pride.
so i am saying something that my entire life i never thought i would say:
i am a member of the fraternity Omicron Delta Pi- Ο Δ π ! i hope i can make my brothers and sisters proud because i am very proud to be a part of this!