a very special thank you to someone who doesn’t expect it

have i told you how much you have changed the core of me

opened my eyes to a life i had never known before, secret

ego on the dance floor, dips, jives all the whirlie twirlie

it was a good hustle, hide the peanut and throwing dice

back alley love songs the dance of fools with no rhythm

quietly displacing those in tact, exploiting weaknesses

a hipster dream eating oranges and name brand cheese

the teacher of torture seemingly quiet and nonabrasive

hiding it all behind red wine and socialist theories

the spokesperson for the downtrodden, the workin gal

poetry readings and karaoke in the pc hole in the wall

sylvia plath and frank zappa hangin out in your den

proving points by quoting dead writers and bob dylan

repeating theories in the hacking tongue of mother russia

then reiterating your pretense with smarky english translations

painting the clown of intellectual snobbery and hollow humanity

your ability to be seemingly righteous slingin social politics

smelling of weed and patchouli, faded clothes and theory

a dull ache in my back  the throbbing scars of reminders

you have shown me liars and the con artists all surreal and shit

i see the you so desperately clinging in the back of your throat

the words and terms and truths you really hold in your liberal hat

your role as shiva the destroyer has opened my eyes to a life

i would rather die than conform to-all talk and theories

actions only in multitudes and oceans of liberal bullshit

you took an idiot with big dreams and a smiling facade

forcing grit and guts to step forward for the march

i can do without you and your plastic starbright world

there are much better things to do than associate with you

like walking into walls and licking bird shit off the sidewalk

you and yours disgust the very core of me, rotten flesh and lies

thanks for the art lesson of consumption while wearing garbage bags




  1. PookyH · May 6, 2014

    It certainly sounds like it came from the heart!

  2. CC Champagne · May 6, 2014

    Wow! A lot of anger (rightly so by the sounds of it) and an amazing flow. Very vivid imagery as well… Beautifully written in a style I could never master (which makes me even more impressed)!

    • cakeleevannila · May 9, 2014

      thank you so much! i have tried to figure a response to this kindness for days, and it falls flat. i would like you to know, that your response brought a few tears of relief to my eyes. i am still a bit unsteady in my writing…i wrote a lot when i was young-which was easy bc i was too dumb to know when to shut up. i thought i had closed the door to this part of myself with the birth of my children, when you have three boys with autism spectrum disorders, creative writing, hell, even thinking beyond necessities is a dream for other ppl to have. the reoccurance of my illness and the increased severity has forced me to write or become trapped inside of myself. writing seems to require less effort… thank you again!!!

  3. Teddy Rannila · May 6, 2014

    you’re getting stronger.

  4. summerstommy2 · May 7, 2014

    Wow, strong and very pointed, you had a lot to get of your chest.

    • cakeleevannila · May 9, 2014

      lol! i generally do have alot to get off of my chest! i have a very low threshold for willful ignorance and cruelty-which seems to be the name of the game in this area of the country. i think there is a trophy given to the “person who can be the most cruel”.

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