how much for that doggie in the window

maybe it would be different

if perhaps i were bilingual

what if i had walked backwards

or made the left turn and not right

what if i could line-dance

or if i even understood the purpose or had the desire

what if i could correctly understand negative numbers

there was a time i wanted to stand on my head

but i never accomplished that mission

it was much too dangerous for those around me

to attempt that because i wobbled on my feet

what if i had a great love for magic tricks

or maybe i could figure out poker

how would it all have changed if i didn’t read

what if i enjoyed smoldering hot days

my life would be away

or above

or beyond

there maybe a chance for mundane events

had i just heaved and not hoed

what if i stopped when i was told to be proper

“ladies don’t fart ever in public”

what if i never farted and laughed on elevators

what if i gave one fuck about what that stranger thinks

what if i respected the boundries drawn out

and baked sugar cookies with chocolate sprinkles

in shapes of my brown friends with nooses

what if i adopted beautiful bigotry and a hate for others

what if i could hate based on biblical scripture

maybe if i took all words in leviticus on face value

or if i had never read the book for myself

what if i had just believed it because they said it

what if i bought into the stories

maybe i could have been snow white

dead inanimate nothing but a box

and i waited for that rescue moment

i waited for that special someone to make me a person

to bring me to life because i could never exist alone

what if i could just shut the fuck up

and i did as i was told

and i didn’t think or understand

what if i thought and understood but no-one knew

what if i mastered the beautiful smile and dead eyes look

and i was as thin and sickly in appearance

would it be easier

would there be more

what price would i sell for

if i were a common

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