our new zine!!!!!

i am so proud to be a part of this project!!!  we are doing so much with this!!

issue 1, june, 2016


refusal to put a shirt on! wonderful article

refusal to put a shirt on! wonderful article

(my response to the article written about social beauty…too long to write there)

wow!!! you are a beautiful young lady, overweight or in shape.  the conditioning we allow to bombard us and we tend to inflict, most unaware of what they are doing is a ridiculous waste of time geared toward creating body dysmorphia and even worse in some cases.  using others and their insecurities to boost your low self image is a mental disorder.  being of a certain bmi, body type is not a a horrible act, but being the monster pointing and laughing is and it is a decisive action with forethought and planning.   i am a mother of 3 boys-well ok 2 are technically men, but i am not ok with that….i grew them inside of my body.  i put my health and life in the line of fire to create human life.  my boys were all big-they are finnish, and those ppl are big-they have to be or they will just freeze to death.  i am a small person, 5’3 1/2″ and at the time before my first son i weighed 115 and in really good shape.  being pregnant and your body changing daily as the person inside of you grows, it can be pretty hard to handle.  i had a very difficult time dealing with this change-my mother mocked me (she is not really all that stable in the upstairs department-she was raised on beauty priorities too) constantly, i was young-18, here i was becoming the size of 2 of me.  after my oldest son was born, i started trying to get rid of the skin that hung down.  i got pregnant again.  my middle son and oldest son are exactly eleven and a half months apart.  at that point, screw my body, i couldn’t even brush my teeth or use the bathroom alone.  then i had my youngest who was born premature.  luckily we had taken measures to rapidly increase his lungs bc we knew he was coming soon.  these steroids gave me some severe edema-swelling-but he was born healthy, lungs functioning.  now i look at my belly, scared and cut, looking like a riverbed and i no longer want to have it whacked off.  i am not brave enough to wear a bikini but i am brave and proud enough to look at my reflection and know that i am good.  that is just my story and it’s no different for ppls who gain weight wo ppl creation.  our beauty is not up for auction.  our beauty is not a fashion statement or the cool new pair of shoes.  our beauty is everlasting, proof we are strong, a visible reminder that we are just right where we are as long as we feel just right.  my beauty is not up for debate in social circles of botox and taunt skin over 90 year old bones.  my beauty is mine.

christina fallin does it again

christina fallin does it again

o christina christina christina….man, you keep diggin that rich white girl privilege hole deep and deeper don’t ya, sweetheart!  god bless ya bc you are a complete asshole!!!!!!!

apples, trees, the vicinity of one in relation to the other…

quick synopsis in case you don’t follow the forever hateful oklahoma goings on-

mary fallin=evil governor who signs laws to strangle the average citizen of oklahoma.  one of the triple divinity of homophobes who threaten to make all marriage in oklahoma illegal if it is federally mandated that states that recognize straight marriage must recognize gay marriage-she has already stripped the benefits of all national guard members in order to not pay the gay spouses, cuts to education funding, denial of health services, major cuts to social programs like food stamps despite the overwhelming poverty in the state (85% living below the poverty line) not to mention her war on women.

christina fallin=mindnumbing assclown daughter to the evil governor.  she can’t really be considered evil bc she is seriously not smart enough for all that.  she is in a band??  she has recently been in the media for her racist shenanigans.   in early march fallin minor released a promotional photograph of herself in a headdress.  lil fallin was confronted by ppl who see these sorts of things as ummmm cultural appropriation and offensive and not ok.  most of the native ppl i personally know and discussed this whole gross deal with, looked at the original issue of the photograph and the offensiveness as a part of social ignorance.  the real trouble came when christina fallin made a public “apology” which was far from an apology-it was a laundry list of stupid ass excuses as to why she should be able to wear native regalia she has no clue or concept about, my personal favorite excuse that she vomited out was it’s pretty and i wanna have pretty things too!  so instead of taking that experience and saying “damn, even if i don’t understand why, obviously people are offended when i play dress up in sacred native regalia” she made constant excuses, demeaning those who were offended.

for the most part there was quiet on the great wasteland of okahoma stupid.  momma fallin stepped into the spotlight of wretchedness a few times, mostly bc she been in cahoots with other conservatives drafting legislation to block any increase in minimum wage.  then saturday night april 26th baby fallin took the lead again….

at a music festival fallin came out on stage in a shawl that with the word “sheep” written on it, and mocking a native war dance.  the word on the street via social media spread by pink pony the band that christina fallin fronts was that the mistress of offensive would be in full regalia.  of course this prompted many natives to protest the festival, which really just gave fallin another national boost.

it is sad to say, but very true, that many white ppl are completely unaware of how very offensive these sorts of behaviors can be.  we tend to look at the past through our rose tinted glasses seeing yeah all this happened but get over it, it’s not happening now.  now we are all equal!!!!  this concept of “equality” is a hazard.  first of all-no, we are not equal.  equal doesn’t even appear the same way on the brown side of the fence as it does on the white side.  when you are a member of a minority, and your “equality” was a political campaign and is only in place due to legalities, you can have that ripped out from underneath you at any moment.  it’s not a right, it’s a privilege for all ppl of other than to be recognized as human and entitled to rights.  white ppl like to think that we are extremely removed from the prejudices and hatred of the past, it happened so long ago, it should be dead and gone, but this is not at all what is going on in the world!  there are many many many native americans who were sent to the reform schools still alive.  there are natives who grew up looking at scars caused by small pox on the bodies of family members.  this is not ancient history, it is still alive right now today.  the consumption and exploitation of sacred texts, items, ritual, tools, etc is never ever ever ok.  i am pretty far away from being a christian, so if i were to put on that pointy pope hat and start serving sacrament it would offend ppl severely bc that is a sacred rite to many people.  it would obviously be unacceptable bc as a society we do not question the validity of that religion’s sanctity.  for the most part we don’t get offended when we see football players thank their god for the tackle or whatever.  it is not ok to see ppl, families praying before a meal and walk up clapping them on the back.  and yet at the same time we mass distribute white entitlement to cultures that have been oppressed and repressed by ppl who look like us, making happy meal toys from the surviving spiritual, cultural, familial remnants that are remaining of independent nations, white washing and consuming cultures.  it is not ok.  at all.  the foundation of culture and religion and lifestyle is not on the auctioning block. am i saying that white ppl shouldn’t have anything to do with natives and native culture-no that is not what i am saying.  to admire and respect is one thing,  a person is open to understanding and learning without perversion is much different than a person who makes generalized uneducated assumptions never taking the time to understand what they are and are not seeing.  that is demeaning and extremely arrogant!  we are not universally entitled to ownership of anything except ourselves, our knowledge, our experience, our beliefs and our traditions.  there are many planes and areas where lives intersect allowing us the opportunity to learn and teach.  for example my friend is a straight married woman who is comanche and i am a lesbian who is white.  we see the world through different eyes and perceptions, and we keep this in mind when we are discussing issues.  for the most part we agree on things, but our upbringings and cultures bring us to these self-truths in different directions.  is my path more or less valid than hers?  of course not.  is she willing to be patient enough with my ignorance to call me out and explain things from her life-yeah, and i do the same for her.  we have a mutual respect and love for each other.  another example is my partner is from the far north and i am from the south.  we have different words for the same items-i say sacks she says bags, we were raised on different foods, our dialects are different.  is one better, no, obviously one is more comfortable for me and one is more comfortable for her.  but when we take the time to understand where the other person is coming from the real education and enlightenment starts.

and the winner of the “miss bigot who refuses to recognize her extreme repulsive ignorance” award goes to MISS CHRITSINA FALLIN!!!! let’s give her a round of applause!

and the winner of the “miss bigot who refuses to recognize her extreme repulsive ignorance” award goes to MISS CHRITSINA FALLIN!!!! let’s give her a round of applause!

anyone who keeps up with the goings on in the rightwing radical hateful bigot news has heard the name mary fallin before.  she is the governor of oklahoma which is one of the worst states for any sort of equality for those outside of the mainstream heteronormative white christian cismale label.  mary fallin has gone as far as to ban all benefits for the oklahoma national guard to ensure that the gays won’t get it!  she can’t just take them away from the gay ppl, so noone can get them!  she has made threats that if the us gov decides that states must allow marriage equality across the board, oklahoma will no longer allow anyone to get married and will not recognize the union if established somewhere else.  oklahoma has some of the most oppressive laws against women’s rights, the abortion laws are some of the most rigid laws around, and money to go into projects like hiv awareness and testing, public std testing, true non-abstinance sex ed, access to mental health and drug rehabs are pretty much so minimal that they aren’t accessible to the general public and gay bashing is not a hate crime it is generally charged as a misdemeanor crime regardless of the amount of damage the victim takes. the fact that 85% of the citizens of oklahoma live in extreme poverty has not deterred fallin from cutting food stamps and the list of food that can be purchased on food stamps, also there is legislation being drafted to ensure that there will be no mandatory rise in the rate of minimum wage if it were to be sanctioned and made into federal law.  the school districts are some of the worst in the world, receiving the bare minimum of state funds.  and while the prison systems and the military bases seem to be booming, any other commerce is dying rapidly.  it is some sick oppressive shit and she is going to hold onto her place among the most radical hateful ppl in the world, fighting for the destruction of humanity everywhere!  so knowing that it comes as no shock that her daughter would be cut from the same cloth.

christina fallin, daughter of the slimeball mary fallin, made national headlines yesterday.  she did not make a scientific breakthrough, or wrestle a gun from a man on a killing spree, or work in a soup kitchen.  what she did do was to offend huge masses of indigenous ppls and anyone who cares to embrace the diversity and not the consumption of cultures.  chrisitina fallin did a photo shoot in which she was wearing a reproduction of a headdress.  not only did she wear the headdress, she defended herself by saying 1. she is a citizen of oklahoma which has the second largest native population in the country 2. she did it in tribute 3. it’s pretty and she wants to be pretty too.  for those of you who aren’t really aware of why this is so incredibly offense i will do my level best to explain.

there were many nations living in what is now the united states.  they were independent, each nation having it’s own language, economy and culture.  these nations had lived here for centuries.  the north american and south american continents were inhabited when the europeans began invading and killing anyone who stood in their way-yeah and christopher columbus was not the hero everyone has been told about he was a bringer of genocide and a proud rapist and murderer.  many of the nations that were thriving before the intruders ships  hit the shores of the atlantic ocean were immediately wiped out, entire civilizations of human beings destroyed and anyone left standing was raped, tortured and enslaved.  talk about your sweet dreams!  when the warmongers returned to their lovely european homes and reported to their lovely european investors what they had found,  how easy it would be to dominate and steal from the savages, their greedy mouths began to water.  it was not long after the first round of murders reported to their higher ups in the spainish, english and french nations-who were kinda getting tired of fighting each other for the last few centuries in the tag team tournament of “i got your land”-that more ships bound for the americas set sail.  colonialist were told of the riches, wilderness, and unlimited wealth that was guarded by simple ppls with no really cool go boom toys.  “it’s gonna be as easy as takin candy from a baby, boys!  let’s do like a tree and leave!  don’t forget to put on your rapin clothes, they got some hotties over there!”  so they climbed in their ships and headed toward the land of opportunity, this time having, though, they were prepared for domination and destruction.  the news soon spread, it wasn’t too long, historically speaking, before the most common of ppl were making their way to the land of opportunity.  in the new world all is to be forgiven and everyone has a chance to go and be somebody!  people of all sorts were making way toward the promise of prosperity.  and as they landed on the home of ppl established and living and thriving, they began murdering and enslaving with impunity.  these people were savages, and they were beneath even  the most hated lowlife scum in  the european world.  as they washed up on shore, and began to rape the land of treasures, many of the nations moved on, headed in the opposite direction of the “founders” of this great nation.  the nations that stayed to hold their ground, even attempting to work with these colorless ppl were enemies and heathens, everyone of them opened to torture and rape and slavery-men, women and children alike.  breeding with those who survived to water down the blood and heritage.  europeans came bounding in by the thousands with the guns and christ.  the invasion  of the new world was swift.

as the indigenous nations watched and saw the utter destruction laying waste to any opposition, the frenzy of domination, they began attempting to make compromises and adjustments to their traditions and lives.  many of the nations struck deals for the sake of their citizens.  they forfeited willingly or it would be taken violently, it was up to them how this was going down, either way the natives were on the wrong end of the gun.

months turned to years and years into lifetimes.  many of the treaties forgotten by the spawn of the europeans.  the promises made “allowing” the natives land and peace thrown to the way side as the need to conquer more and more land and suck more and more resources up sprouted like an invasive parasite, taking hold of all that was and straggling it.  time continued and the west was soon getting larger for the newcomers and shrinking rapidly for those who had rightful claim.  as the “settlers” pushed, the native ppl attempted to stand their ground.  they were defending their lives and their traditions and their rightful place on the land that was their’s.  many nations were demolished, of the ppls who survived it was a long road, a tragedy at every turn, sickness, famine, theft, lies, death and when that became boring there was always the absorption the consuming of anything left.  the united states of america was founded on the blood of the indigenous ppls.  it was conceived and born through genocide of nations.  the glory of the new world was simply the domination of other ppl.  the tribes that remained were put on the most hostile land available, their food sources unavailable.  there would be a treaty between a tribe and the government but before it was even forged into being plans to break it were happening behind the scenes.  the natives were not just held in contempt, the government was firmly set in complete devastation of all nations.  in time many of the reservations were invaded, the nations mixed and an attempt to take away any identity was made.  the gov set up schools and would take children out of the arms of their families, put them in “reform schools” in attempts to strip any remaining string connecting them with their past.  children were not allowed to speak in the language of their people, but instead they were taught crude versions of english.  the deities of the ppls were taken away and replaced with the christian ideology.  when the children would get old enough they would make them leave the school.  many children attempted to go home, but there was no home left.  others were so disenfranchised from their culture they had no place-too white to be native too native to be white.  it was not long before the beautiful diverse nations of pride and dignity were labeled “indians-a conquered ppl”.    the symbols and holy sites and ceremony were taken and perverted and sold.  the headdress was one of many items that were picked up and distorted becoming an empty logo on a football helmet, or a mocking vision of what an indian is supposed to be.  

that is not the whole story.  it took centuries of war to get to the place where indian was even considered a human being of worth.  the stories told in the history books, do not do justice for those that fought to defend their families and ppl.  the pain and loss and destruction in the name of a god and a dollar, the theft of the sacred and the mundane objects of those deemed “conquered” are not up for grabs to the grandchildren of a man who had a gun against the side of a natives head in order to get the relic in the first place.  when people refuse to even acknowledge the past and the sanctity of nations, and then blindly and with no sense of reverence spew idiotic lies and continue the exploitation it is a slap in the face of everyone who can trace their families to the ppls who were the real settlers of this land that was stolen.  it is a sick commercialization of sacredness belonging to a ppls that have every right to protect what is theirs from the ppl that wanted to destroy it.  

if the romans took the gods of the celts and put them on display and made them cartoons and attached jokes to them charging money like their culture and customs were a freak show carnival, how ok would the descendants of those ppl feel when a person of roman descent put on a kilt or a torque or made a “really awesome cool amulet just like the ones that the priest wore on the equinox, man” producing it in mass quantities and giving it to children for a toy?  all those “dream catchers” are sacred some native nations, not all.  the headdress is a symbol of a great warrior in some native cultures, not all.  the way you would enter a house to show respect in one nation, may mean something else entirely to another.  if you want to understand something, if you find a culture beautiful and rich and meaningful, that is great!  that is awesome.  but instead of adorning yourself with things you know nothing about, ask questions.  talk to different people for different places and different nations.  understand, or at least try to.  have respect!  it is not yours.  you don’t get to claim that just bc you are white and it’s pretty!  the descendants of ppl who died for the protection and sanctity of that item you think is a” really awesome new age very chic fashion statement” that brings you closer to “the great spirit” are watching you disrespect and distort and mock the lives of their ancestors and it is not ok!  just fucking stop, rich white ppl!  just stop!

pussy riot members to be freed

pussy riot members to be freed

this is the best news i have heard all day, maybe all week!  pussy riot’s feminist, punk, political music spoke out against russian president putin, the russian orthodox church and in favor of human rights.  pussy riot was known for it’s guerilla performances decending on locations and handing out “pure protest, saying: super heroes in balaclavas and acid bright tights seize public space in Moscow.” pussy riot member gazeta ru stated in an interview.   nadezhda tolokonnikova and maria alyokhina will be released from prison soon!  they were both arrested and imprisoned for hooliganism when their band pussy riot filmed a video in moscow’s cathedral of christ the savior orthodox church.  they were arrested on march 3, 2012 and convicted august 17, 2012 and sentenced to 2 years each.  nadya has been very vocal about injustice within the prison system and just recently was moved to a siberian prison camp after a hunger strike pointing out the horrible working conditions of the prison camp she was in.  she had been lost in transit from the penal colony ik-14 to the siberian colony for almost a month.

click here-hiv positive men having protected sex can result in prison time

click here-hiv positive men having protected sex can result in prison time

hiv/aids is a scary deal.  it is not a pretty picture to watch someone you love get incredibly ill, systems breaking down and their body turning against them.  it is hard, and incredibly sad.  that being said, the consistent and correct use of condoms is, aside from abstinence, the only good way to prevent hiv and other std’s.

despite the stigma of hiv being a gay illness, it is transmitted through body fluids coming into contact with mucus membranes.  this means anyone with body fluids who is hiv positive can infect anyone with mucus membranes, although the amount of hiv in sweat and saliva is minimal and there is no evidence that a person can become infected through spit of sweat or mosquito bites.  hiv can be spread from person to person via oral, vaginal and anal sex.  gay ppl are not more likely to get hiv than any other person having unprotected sex of any kind.

even though science has recognized this fact, religious right legislation continues to place the blame of hiv at the feet of the lgbtqa community.  it is demonized as a gay illness or a lighting bolt by god to strike down the promiscuous and sexually active.  therefore, public sexual education and training is ignored and rarely offered.  most states rely on abstinence only sex ed. many times falsify facts about the effectiveness of condoms, which does not stop sex but does stop ppl from using condoms during sex or using them incorrectly.  when condoms are used correctly and consistently the spread of hiv and other std’s are halted almost entirely.  there are many ppl who have protected sex with hiv positive ppl and stay negative because they used condoms.   

when i see legislation against lgbtqa ppls such as not being able to donate blood or organs or an hiv positive person going to prison for having protected sex, i think it is disgusting and continues to play into creating the illusion that gay ppls are the carriers of the hiv virus and are more prone to becoming positive-which is not true at all.  it is discrimination and radically demoralizing.  all blood and organs are screened before transplant or infusion.  the reason for this is because many illnesses can be transmitted through these processes, and it is not only gay ppl who carry the illnesses but all ppl.  there are no special gay organs or blood.  there are no special straight organs or blood.  blood and organs are pretty much universally the same and if you have compatible types, it doesn’t matter who it comes from, it is compatible.  those who have tested hiv positive should have the decency to disclose this information to any partner, but should it be mandated by the law?  i am not sure.  for one thing, there are many ppl who are not aware they are positive, and if they are careful and responsible….i mean if i found out that i had a partner that was positive and knew and didn’t tell me before hand, i would be upset, but it is also my responsibility to make sure that when i engage in sexual activity i am doing it proactively safe.

instead of spending money on creating laws and prosecuting ppls and perpetrating ignorance and discrimination, we should be putting more money into safe sex education and free access to birth control and condoms.  we should be informing every single human being the real cause for the spread of hiv and std’s and how to protect themselves.  our society should make hiv and std testing free and accessible to everyone, despite sexual orientation.  without these true life methods, the spread of hiv and other std’s are going to continue.