ferris wheel & pink cotton candy

it’s a tumultuous feeling

calm

it seems like a lie

a temptation for tornadoes

to rip everything apart

leaving the soul barefoot

to navigate across shattered glass

quiet

a perfect indicator of emotional doom

the sniper in place

waiting for the order to fire

the ravens gather for the onslaught

serenity

leaving time for promises to die

giving way to mental destruction

defenseless, naked, unmasked, unaware

blind in a boxing match

peace

time to prepare myself

for the barbed wire dress

for the parade of the despised

amity

pacts and trusts in boxes

that i am unable to open

i don’t have the fucking key

i don’t have the fucking tools

harmony

what a bullshit mirage

put in place to make the thinking

go to doctors and hospitals

thorazine and depakote

frontal lobotomy life therapy

there is no comfort in joy

there is no contentment in tranquility

happiness is rotting flesh disguised with aromatherapy

 

hey, mom, i made it

sometimes words aren’t strong enough

there isn’t enough emphasis to describe

the whole of you

i have scoured dictionaries

i have devoured sacred texts

but no word can sum it up

bigot

zealot

fanatic

lout

emotional brute

none tell the story of who you decided to be

the hatred that consumes all you think

the curses you place

on the heads

of those you love

the evil inactions

you take toward those you don’t

sacrificing your own children

for your comfort & greed

you have no right to the names

of your mother, your grandmother

you do not have the honor

of being a mother, a grandmother

your acrimony has placed you outside

maybe everything now is just

disGrace

house calls

synchronicity and serendipity

conjuring up mutual need for kindredness

magical sound of a knock on the door

a blast from the past

i had no idea the sight of you would

make my heart skip in my chest

like a three year old

memories of long ago

playing cards

roaming mountains

exploring haunted houses

jaw bones of unknown animals

a rose and a poem

i saw you

the ache of missing you

boiled up then floated away

to see your face

to hear your laughter

to listen to stories

of loss

of neglect

of children

of new love

of unrighteous intruders

of adventures

of a life that molded

the girl i knew

the girl i love

into a woman

i have known my whole life

you are no longer the maiden

you are the mother

how beautiful it is

the flower you have bloomed into

 

-for aubrey