time loops

there he was
stumbling, falling in slow motion
always the memories
632 kills in 8 years
statistics for the ages
memories to pass to children
daddy falling out of the window
he wears the ring
the solider’s ring
the heaviest of metals
with polished gems
words of victory and valor
engraved like the 10 commandments
he drinks to remember who he was
before afghanistan
he’s out of the killing business
but he still wears the ring



he was sitting on a bench

just outside the sliding glass door




chain smoking

emotional genitalia hanging out

on display for everyone to mock

he didn’t give a shit anymore

he grew up in ohio

where no one smiled

his big escape came in the mail

“You are hereby ordered for introduction into the Armed Forces of the United States and to report to”

to the sunny beaches of california

to the sunny beaches of vietnam

there weren’t no goddamn parades

nobody celebrates

a professional baby killer

and that’s who he was

and that’s who he is




knees bowed under the weight

of his reflection

he ain’t sure about anything


he ain’t ever going back to ohio


crash boom bam pizzazz and party favors

these bombs

shake the pictures off the walls

leaving windowpanes vibrating like a beehive

these bombs

ripping apart the sides of mountains

where dinosaurs used to roam

these bombs

fired by 18 year old kids

with questionable criminal histories

with questionable mental stability

these bombs

just practice for the real deal

prototypes for the ones to be sent over there

these bombs

don’t send us running for cover

aren’t aimed at our homes

these bombs

a constant reminder we will force

any peoples to do what we want

these bombs

are meant to spread democracy

into lands where democracy was stripped away

by the bombs sent before them

these bombs

these bombs

these bombs

send tears down my cheeks

these bombs

will take a child away

these bombs

will break through the bricks of hospitals

these bombs

will settle on school desks

these bombs

leave humanity vibrating with the magnitude of loss


interdependent web of existence

tears of the damned

numbers and numbers and numbers

representing individuals


a man with a plan

a woman wanting to make bread

a child who loves rain

we watch numbers without names

names have too much value

when we hear names

the strings of attachment to humanity

pull too hard, decisions begin forming

actions feel necessary


200,000 people

one man who wanted to build a house

one young man in love with one young woman

one 70 year old man who just wanted to sleep without bombs

one 3 year old girl who never read

one 8 year old girl who loved the stars

one human being essential to the future


200,000 human beings with names and dreams and goals essential to the future

i wail for the loss of humanity

i weep for the transference of names to numbers

i cry for the percentages

i yearn desperate for what we have lost

i burn inside for the time

humanity overthrows the prejudice, power, division

i will keep the names of those who lived

those who have to face it again and again

etched in my soul

for the dead no longer pray

they no longer cry tears of the damned




earthquakes and riverbeds

one day i heard

a prophet on the street-corner

talking of legacy

he was gnarled and twisted

he was missing a front tooth

and the other hung by a string

flapping like a flag in rhythm

he was a white fellow

with skin that looked painful

worn and exposed to the elements too long

he had on an old army jacket

and was missing his left arm

his beard had become a hiding place

for crumbs and leaves and sticky things

i think he was one of the people

i should have been scared of

i wasn’t afraid

i was, however, intrigued

the gentleman was having a heated debate

and the other participant was invisible

the main topic of discussion

centered around

foot-prints made by him v foot-steps made by others

i missed half of the conversation

i never heard the argument mr. invisible made

but the guru said profound and exciting statements

his foot-prints were left in many different countries

he was following the foot-steps of great generals

his foot-prints moved borders

changed histories

rearranged families

the trail he blazed, he blazed well

he could make a mother fall to her knees

and beg and plead and barter

he could make the ground shake

men could bleed and scream

by his prescence

he had changed worlds

he had been a god

and those mothers, children, fathers

the people living near his path of flames

would pray to him, begging for mercy

lighting candles in his name

mr. invisible had been outwitted

and went to stir up another wasp nest

somewhere, anywhere else

the man who had become a god and returned as a man

looked at me

there were rivers flowing from his eyes

he asked if i had any change to spare

i gave him all the cash in my purse

he had just followed in the foot-steps of others

and fell from grace

fingers hovering over the red button of annihilation-not your granddaddy’s kinda war

arrogance pomp and circumstance

holding the holy wars in your hands

the capture of humanity wrapped

in a shroud of stars and stripes

because you bleed red white and blue

the domination of other nations

cultures, lives, dogma, knowledge

thrown like dice in a back alley shadow

the hustler knowing the tricks and the traps

but the lines of pitiful fools keeps growing

never stopping long enough to know

those who can’t don’t, won’t hope

it’s different for those who sing

open unafraid unhindered

belting out bottomless lyrics

when the saints come marching in

and all the trivia of amazing grace

reading words without comprehension

symbols written in sand at low tide

kill those at the wrong end of the rainbow

never seeing glitter and gold and hope

watching your child starve, shake, sick

too many flies to wipe from their faces

they can’t eat words or drink sentiment

peddling your freedom door to door

in the neighborhoods of popup houses

with no guts, no trademark, no idea

a beige population with picket fences

screaming words in combinations

stirring the emotions of bred nationalists

the children raised on lies and apple pies

baseball, hot dogs and jesus christ

stomping in unison, automatons chanting

“let freedom ring, democracy for all”

tired phrases, definition lost in translation

uncle sam sending birthday cards and love

draft numbers concocted, dropped in the hat

like bingo numbers in the old folks home

the very judicial sentiment in small print

a contract for open hunting season

on those born in the wrong place wrong time

it’s all about survival of the fittest, eugenics

romantic revolutions carried out by children

seven steps removed from humanity

the ritual beginning with the broken ego

the self shaved away with locks of hair

the initiation, indoctrination and validation

the ever present buzzing of the hive mind

one unit, one body, one hand murdering

setting thousands of babies on fire

the laundry list of philosophy and excuses

cannot neutralize the image of the three year old

girl wrapped around her mother’s knee

eyes watching as bullets hit heads

spraying brains on concrete and bricks

terrified, existing long enough to know

to feel the warmth of the mother’s blood

the hand once steady, now limp and loose

there is no justification, no moral rationale

when the mother screams in labor

the birth of a still born innocent monster

a wad of skinless organs, bones and pain

the baby who lives with no skull and 4 legs

the result of uranium plated death

radioactive, nuclear devices of submission

recycled and used as a fine china set

enemies bought and paid for with taxes

billions of dollars invested in a war

to kill an enemy who carries a gun

stamped made in the usa

and the winner of the “miss bigot who refuses to recognize her extreme repulsive ignorance” award goes to MISS CHRITSINA FALLIN!!!! let’s give her a round of applause!

and the winner of the “miss bigot who refuses to recognize her extreme repulsive ignorance” award goes to MISS CHRITSINA FALLIN!!!! let’s give her a round of applause!

anyone who keeps up with the goings on in the rightwing radical hateful bigot news has heard the name mary fallin before.  she is the governor of oklahoma which is one of the worst states for any sort of equality for those outside of the mainstream heteronormative white christian cismale label.  mary fallin has gone as far as to ban all benefits for the oklahoma national guard to ensure that the gays won’t get it!  she can’t just take them away from the gay ppl, so noone can get them!  she has made threats that if the us gov decides that states must allow marriage equality across the board, oklahoma will no longer allow anyone to get married and will not recognize the union if established somewhere else.  oklahoma has some of the most oppressive laws against women’s rights, the abortion laws are some of the most rigid laws around, and money to go into projects like hiv awareness and testing, public std testing, true non-abstinance sex ed, access to mental health and drug rehabs are pretty much so minimal that they aren’t accessible to the general public and gay bashing is not a hate crime it is generally charged as a misdemeanor crime regardless of the amount of damage the victim takes. the fact that 85% of the citizens of oklahoma live in extreme poverty has not deterred fallin from cutting food stamps and the list of food that can be purchased on food stamps, also there is legislation being drafted to ensure that there will be no mandatory rise in the rate of minimum wage if it were to be sanctioned and made into federal law.  the school districts are some of the worst in the world, receiving the bare minimum of state funds.  and while the prison systems and the military bases seem to be booming, any other commerce is dying rapidly.  it is some sick oppressive shit and she is going to hold onto her place among the most radical hateful ppl in the world, fighting for the destruction of humanity everywhere!  so knowing that it comes as no shock that her daughter would be cut from the same cloth.

christina fallin, daughter of the slimeball mary fallin, made national headlines yesterday.  she did not make a scientific breakthrough, or wrestle a gun from a man on a killing spree, or work in a soup kitchen.  what she did do was to offend huge masses of indigenous ppls and anyone who cares to embrace the diversity and not the consumption of cultures.  chrisitina fallin did a photo shoot in which she was wearing a reproduction of a headdress.  not only did she wear the headdress, she defended herself by saying 1. she is a citizen of oklahoma which has the second largest native population in the country 2. she did it in tribute 3. it’s pretty and she wants to be pretty too.  for those of you who aren’t really aware of why this is so incredibly offense i will do my level best to explain.

there were many nations living in what is now the united states.  they were independent, each nation having it’s own language, economy and culture.  these nations had lived here for centuries.  the north american and south american continents were inhabited when the europeans began invading and killing anyone who stood in their way-yeah and christopher columbus was not the hero everyone has been told about he was a bringer of genocide and a proud rapist and murderer.  many of the nations that were thriving before the intruders ships  hit the shores of the atlantic ocean were immediately wiped out, entire civilizations of human beings destroyed and anyone left standing was raped, tortured and enslaved.  talk about your sweet dreams!  when the warmongers returned to their lovely european homes and reported to their lovely european investors what they had found,  how easy it would be to dominate and steal from the savages, their greedy mouths began to water.  it was not long after the first round of murders reported to their higher ups in the spainish, english and french nations-who were kinda getting tired of fighting each other for the last few centuries in the tag team tournament of “i got your land”-that more ships bound for the americas set sail.  colonialist were told of the riches, wilderness, and unlimited wealth that was guarded by simple ppls with no really cool go boom toys.  “it’s gonna be as easy as takin candy from a baby, boys!  let’s do like a tree and leave!  don’t forget to put on your rapin clothes, they got some hotties over there!”  so they climbed in their ships and headed toward the land of opportunity, this time having, though, they were prepared for domination and destruction.  the news soon spread, it wasn’t too long, historically speaking, before the most common of ppl were making their way to the land of opportunity.  in the new world all is to be forgiven and everyone has a chance to go and be somebody!  people of all sorts were making way toward the promise of prosperity.  and as they landed on the home of ppl established and living and thriving, they began murdering and enslaving with impunity.  these people were savages, and they were beneath even  the most hated lowlife scum in  the european world.  as they washed up on shore, and began to rape the land of treasures, many of the nations moved on, headed in the opposite direction of the “founders” of this great nation.  the nations that stayed to hold their ground, even attempting to work with these colorless ppl were enemies and heathens, everyone of them opened to torture and rape and slavery-men, women and children alike.  breeding with those who survived to water down the blood and heritage.  europeans came bounding in by the thousands with the guns and christ.  the invasion  of the new world was swift.

as the indigenous nations watched and saw the utter destruction laying waste to any opposition, the frenzy of domination, they began attempting to make compromises and adjustments to their traditions and lives.  many of the nations struck deals for the sake of their citizens.  they forfeited willingly or it would be taken violently, it was up to them how this was going down, either way the natives were on the wrong end of the gun.

months turned to years and years into lifetimes.  many of the treaties forgotten by the spawn of the europeans.  the promises made “allowing” the natives land and peace thrown to the way side as the need to conquer more and more land and suck more and more resources up sprouted like an invasive parasite, taking hold of all that was and straggling it.  time continued and the west was soon getting larger for the newcomers and shrinking rapidly for those who had rightful claim.  as the “settlers” pushed, the native ppl attempted to stand their ground.  they were defending their lives and their traditions and their rightful place on the land that was their’s.  many nations were demolished, of the ppls who survived it was a long road, a tragedy at every turn, sickness, famine, theft, lies, death and when that became boring there was always the absorption the consuming of anything left.  the united states of america was founded on the blood of the indigenous ppls.  it was conceived and born through genocide of nations.  the glory of the new world was simply the domination of other ppl.  the tribes that remained were put on the most hostile land available, their food sources unavailable.  there would be a treaty between a tribe and the government but before it was even forged into being plans to break it were happening behind the scenes.  the natives were not just held in contempt, the government was firmly set in complete devastation of all nations.  in time many of the reservations were invaded, the nations mixed and an attempt to take away any identity was made.  the gov set up schools and would take children out of the arms of their families, put them in “reform schools” in attempts to strip any remaining string connecting them with their past.  children were not allowed to speak in the language of their people, but instead they were taught crude versions of english.  the deities of the ppls were taken away and replaced with the christian ideology.  when the children would get old enough they would make them leave the school.  many children attempted to go home, but there was no home left.  others were so disenfranchised from their culture they had no place-too white to be native too native to be white.  it was not long before the beautiful diverse nations of pride and dignity were labeled “indians-a conquered ppl”.    the symbols and holy sites and ceremony were taken and perverted and sold.  the headdress was one of many items that were picked up and distorted becoming an empty logo on a football helmet, or a mocking vision of what an indian is supposed to be.  

that is not the whole story.  it took centuries of war to get to the place where indian was even considered a human being of worth.  the stories told in the history books, do not do justice for those that fought to defend their families and ppl.  the pain and loss and destruction in the name of a god and a dollar, the theft of the sacred and the mundane objects of those deemed “conquered” are not up for grabs to the grandchildren of a man who had a gun against the side of a natives head in order to get the relic in the first place.  when people refuse to even acknowledge the past and the sanctity of nations, and then blindly and with no sense of reverence spew idiotic lies and continue the exploitation it is a slap in the face of everyone who can trace their families to the ppls who were the real settlers of this land that was stolen.  it is a sick commercialization of sacredness belonging to a ppls that have every right to protect what is theirs from the ppl that wanted to destroy it.  

if the romans took the gods of the celts and put them on display and made them cartoons and attached jokes to them charging money like their culture and customs were a freak show carnival, how ok would the descendants of those ppl feel when a person of roman descent put on a kilt or a torque or made a “really awesome cool amulet just like the ones that the priest wore on the equinox, man” producing it in mass quantities and giving it to children for a toy?  all those “dream catchers” are sacred some native nations, not all.  the headdress is a symbol of a great warrior in some native cultures, not all.  the way you would enter a house to show respect in one nation, may mean something else entirely to another.  if you want to understand something, if you find a culture beautiful and rich and meaningful, that is great!  that is awesome.  but instead of adorning yourself with things you know nothing about, ask questions.  talk to different people for different places and different nations.  understand, or at least try to.  have respect!  it is not yours.  you don’t get to claim that just bc you are white and it’s pretty!  the descendants of ppl who died for the protection and sanctity of that item you think is a” really awesome new age very chic fashion statement” that brings you closer to “the great spirit” are watching you disrespect and distort and mock the lives of their ancestors and it is not ok!  just fucking stop, rich white ppl!  just stop!