odd man out and lessons learned with ladybugs

the distinction

lines and boundries

one side

or another

team captians

and the choosing

some in gold

others green

each holding

virtues and morals

locked in tin boxes

never evolving

i sit on the grass

odd man out

subscribing to none

other than my own

they forgot to teach me

how to smile and giggle

when i see horrific acts

they didn’t teach me

not to see tears

or to pretend they were rivers

instead of pain and fear

they forgot to tell me

i am not supposed to think

it was too late to learn

not to cry with others

even those who’s ammunition

arrows spears knives of words

protruded from my skin

it was much too late

to learn to hate them

i was not instructed

in camoflouge

to melt into avergae

what they told me

they never forgot

to remind me

i am less than

i am ugly

i am unwanted

i am unclean

i am the measuring stick

so in comparrison

they look wonderful

i am the reflection

in the funhouse mirror

short fat ugly trollish

they never forgot

those lessons

taught in english

taught in german

taught daily

even still

no uniform

no green

no gold

just a compass

and grass

and silence

Advertisements

graeae in small town oklahoma

we aren’t quite sure why

the what and the how are clear

but the essence of propulsion

the driving force

is locked in boxes in boxes in boxed in code

we have spent long nights in electric parlors

designing philosophies of pinpoint accuracy

anthropological physics drawing x&y equations

burning calories in conversational warfare

intellectual mechanics

churning

hopping

bopping

expelling ticker tape in ancient swirling symbols

the attempts of the few free minds

the psyches unchained, unhindered

the original mint condition cadillac of mentality

resorting to guessing games and scavenger hunts

all in the attempt to unearth the source of your madness

you are a plague, a pestilence, the fall of emotional economics

a brush fire among the dry mesquite of walking talking clowns

is there a new disease unleashed

and you without an umbrella or vaccine

or is it a poison, radiation seeping

into the water flowing into your veins

a green, nuclear sludge from bullets and bombs

the idea of demonic possession almost valid

to those pragmatist toting atheist philosophies

your magnitude can make the devil appear

your evil wicked cruelty makes demons cringe

is it the ghost of ancient cultures and dinosaurs extinct

haunting the halls in your mind, howling and scratching

did they forget your shiny new toy in your happy meal

you and yours, kindred souls nestled in hate

created by the capture and drowning of angels

the most dangerous of all monsters

has a dazzling smile, loving eyes, grey hair

whispering hippie rhetoric

bringing in those poor saps who signed up for self sacrifice

your love of baked goods, cookies and grandchildren

your love of seeing the full explosion of pain and eruption of tears

the salty drops you collect in bottles living in the spice rack

bedazzling and beading injustice, degradation, cruelty and threats

your gaggle of witches and your coven of bitches

spreading nightmares and progressive famine

the clown with the red lips and the dumpy hips in the lead

the unassuming whispering nymph of poetry and pen

sporting the used pastel floral print dresses and bongs

because smoking weed and hemingway are the true blue

the new call of your battle

acapella escaping tiny mouths

belting out voices

saying the lines you placed in tiny brains

your club of unreasonable hatred and destruction

gluten free brunch for faux feminists

the flaunting of a new brand of cruel

call it surreal and fools fork over payola

there are those who see your clothed hatred

the time for unveiling has arrived with the mail

and you the hateful, the liars, the pretenders

you have been exposed and highlighted

the triple divinity with las vegas personas

the plastic skin bubbling and dripping off

exposing the suffering and loathing gooey middle

but your darkness cannot block the light

the moon still hangs bright in the night

friendship, comradery, an end to loneliness

are dazzling jewels of hope out of your reach

so do your dance

shake and jive

swing those hips

speak your hypnotic bullshit and flash the dentures bright

you the lying clan of agitators, the red wine stain of spite

 

 

why we need feminism campaign

why we need feminism campaign

little girl reading little girl

there has been a campaign on why feminism is important.  do we  still need a feminist movement?  what good does it do society?  well, this article is the exact reason feminism still has a place at the shit needs to change table!

an little girl was being raped for years and finally ends up pregnant with the rapist’s baby.  this monster began the abuse when the girl was eight years old!  eight years old!  she is now eleven and pregnant with the baby of the man who stole her life.  what options does this child have?  what options have been ripped away from her beginning three years ago when the monster first attacked her?  what course was her life on that day?  did she have dreams of becoming a doctor or a dancer or wonder woman like most eight year old girls?  did she think she would someday be a rock star or a broadway actress?  did she dress up and sing songs in the mirror like i did when i was eight?  i doubt she was dreaming of being a mom in three years.  i doubt she had dreams of growing a fetus, or having to make a choice to terminate pregnancy before she was probably even aware of what pregnancy was.  i doubt she ever imagined the person she is today.

balerina

this girl is why we need feminism!  this girl and every other person in the world who faces not only rape, sexual assault, human trafficking, child marriages, sexist slurs against both women and men, the degradation of the feminine, the alienation at the hands of monsters hiding in shadows!  we need feminism because this girl and so many more like her had dreams that are ripped away replaced with decisions of abortion, adoption or raising a child when you are not prepared.  we need feminism because the view on any decision this girl makes will be condemned by ppl.  we need feminism bc women need to realize they are not fertile soil.  we need feminism bc this girl’s body stopped being her own a long time ago.  we need feminism bc there are monsters out there who stalked and prey on our children.  we need feminism bc no matter what this guy will never get what he deserves and because that girl will never not have been tortured.  nothing we do can ever give her back the life that was taken, the dreams that were broken when he broke her hymen, the little angel that slept with a teddy bear is now sleeping with a fetus.

littlle girl w doll teen pregnancy and education picture

the r word

i have met many ppl who are liberal/progressive in their thinking.  these ppl are usually feminist, prochoice, socially sensitive, use proper adjective to describe minorities, etc.  most of the ppl who are amoung the progressive elite, they are white, extremely educated and wealthy.  they donate money to orgs like the southern poverty law center and the naacp.  they write letters to law makers and vote.  really these ppl are nice, caring and utterly disconnected from reality.

when the topic of race comes up, they are ready!  

“i can’t be racist!  i have 2 black friends, and i voted for obama!  i am so not racist, i don’t see race!”  this is usually said in a high pitched squeal indicating how impassioned they are.

as white ppl we have the privilege of not seeing race.  we have the ability to walk down the street, and not notice.  we don’t notice that when a person of color goes into the electronic department of walmart, they are followed by the undercover security officers.  we don’t feel the alienation that a black man walking down the street feels when the white couple sees him and crosses to the other side of the road while walking past him then crossing back again.

we don’t teach our children how to handle it when the police pull them over.  for most of us white ppl the only time we are pulled over is if we break the law, this is not true for ppl of color.  it is not rare for a person with brown skin to be pulled over for trivial things like driving through their neighborhood, acting too suspicious, avoiding the police.  these are not rare things, these are things that happen all the time.

a friend of mine told me a story the other day, and i have been working it through my mind for quite sometime trying to justify it in some way, but there is no justification for it, and i can’t just sit on it any longer.  one day my friend’s friend, who is hispanic, was standing on her porch enjoying the day.  her neighborhood is like most neighborhoods in our town-you have 3 blocks of quiet, nice and cozy houses then you run into very low income housing rampant with drugs and poverty; our town is very integrated racially in comparison to alot of other cities, and there are many many white ppl living in low income neighborhoods.  the friend lived a couple of blocks down from an apartment complex that has been known selling crack.  so the friend was out enjoying the day on her property, and a white man approaches her.  he walks up to her porch and tries to sell her something.  she said no, and have a good day.  well, this guy was in desperate need of money, and he attempted to rob the woman on her property on her porch.  she pulled her cell phone out and called the police, while on the phone with the police the man stabbed her.  the police rush to her house, they are always in her neighborhood.  by the time the police got there the man had walked further down the street.  she is on her porch, spewing blood, and the police approach her guns drawn.  they put her in handcuffs.  they go and get the man who stabbed her.  he had the stabbing instrument on him covered in her blood.  they put him in cuffs.  they take them both to jail.  he went to jail for stabbing her, but she went to jail bc she must have done something to provoke the incident.  a white man doesn’t just walk around stabbing hispanic women. she was released later that day, but the damage was done.  she now has an arrest record.  her family and neighbors saw her cuffed and pushed into a police car.  she cannot call the police even when being physically assaulted bc she is too brown.

white ppl have the privilege to ignore facts,  racism doesn’t exist as long as we don’t see it.  we don’t see that 85% of prisons across the country are filled with ppl of color, most for nonviolent offenses.  most of the laws are built to alienate people of color from society.  police have the authority to stop and frisk without cause.  district attorneys are granted full licence on who to prosecute and to what to prosecute them for.  judges can sentence a convicted criminal to life for one nonviolent offense in some cases.  lawmakers create laws to cause a chasm between races.

we pat ourselves on the back bc look at how far we have come in combatting racism-a black man can even be president of the united states now!  the fact is that this should not be exceptional!  when looking at our population diversity, and our government, things don’t exactly line up.  if we had true representation, wouldn’t there be the same amount of hispanic representatives as there are hispanic ppl living in the represented population.  the same goes for black ppl, natives, asians, women, queer ppls, trans ppl, disabled folks, and so on and so on.  

when we see spokespersons for the minorities on television, they are deemed outrageous.  al sharpton is a loud, outspoken, black man.  he is vilianized in the media, and most white ppl just block him out as an “angry black man looking for attention”.  “if that al sharpton would just act more like that oprah winfrey, ppl would like him much better.”  “they are just living in the past and trying to stay victims!  i never owned a slave!”  these are all phrases commonly used among whites, even the white liberals, and even among people of color.

i have wondered why we are so insistent on the idea of being colorblind,  why can’t we see the difference and appreciate the difference, not only in skin color but in culture?  we want to homogenize culture, in turn ripping it away from the ppl, watering it down and giving it to the white population as a tool showing how we are accepting of all ppl therefore proving we are colorblind.  “i have a malcom x poster, eat tamales, and watch anime.  i have even been to a sweat!!!! i don’t notice color and when i do, i don’t care!”  the destructive part of this statement is that “i don’t care” bc we should care.  we should care about the culture of other ppl!  we can appreciate the differences!  it is actually quite healthy for us to study, accept and appreciate without consuming different cultures.  

i honestly believe a major part of our colorblind mentality stems from embarrassment and an inability to reckon the past.  it is difficult to be aware that you have privilege bc you were lucky enough to be born a certain color,  add to that the knowledge of what has been done by your genetic ancestors to the genetic ancestors of those around you, and it is hard to look at.  it is hard to look ppl in the eye.  there is absolutely nothing we can do to atone for past atrocities.  we cannot undo what has been done.  but we can stop acting like these things don’t have a major role in the lives of ppl’s of today.  we can learn the histories of others.  we can take into account the anger as legitimate backlash of oppression bc there are still ppl alive who were direct victims of genocide. instead of trying to sweep it under the rug or denying that the past happened.  we can stop trying to take what culture there is away from ppl.  

we can talk to ppl!  i think that is the most important thing we as white ppl can do.  talk!  it seems so simple.  to have open honest discourse with ppl of color.  you are allowed to say “i somehow feel responsible but i don’t know what to do about it”.  you can ask questions.  you can listen.  you can talk to other white ppl.  you can become educated about the true history of all ppls. (there were different nations of native americans, each with it’s own culture  and language, family structures, social hierarchy, and governments!  there were over 60 slave languages.  south america is a continent with many countries each with their own government, culture and commerce.  africa is not a country, again it is a continent, many countries, language, dieties, theologies, culture, etc.  islam is not a country, it is a religion.  the list goes on and on of what we are taught as white ppl….really it is degrading to all involved)

*when ppl find out that i am a lesbian, they try their hardest to make me comfortable with their straightness, which i am already cool with, by telling me how they are somehow related to a gay person.  it’s strange.  and it does not make me feel more comfortable to know that you have a certain amount of gayness in our life.  i do not feel closer to you.  it does not make you less homophobic.  the same can be said about having your token minorities of all kinds.  it doesn’t feel good.  please stop.  please realize that voting for obama is not the same as you being involved with actively ending racial discrimination.