it’s become a roller coaster

my life or what is left of the my in me

a roller coaster with loop-t-loops

giant mountains to click up slowly

there was a time worlds ago

or maybe worlds times ago

the free-fall down the orgasm

leaving a shaky kneed woman

in desperate need of a cigarette

the open air cluster of railroad cars

would stop at the appropriate platform

all passengers would exit-even me

leaving trails of giggles and squeals, virgin joy

i would walk, watching the people

mommy and daddy holding toddler’s hands

those girls and boys attempting

to catch the eye and various other anatomy

some succeeding quickly, fucking in the bushes

others pinned to walls or on the merry-go-round

the smell of bacon, fried food, beer and fear

permeated everything, everyone

i walked through “the house of honesty”

where the mirrors never lie

showing the viewers only flaws

driving the sane to rubbish

because inside everyone lives a demon or two

i paid my coin to the beautiful man

climbed inside the spinning wheel of divinity

a circle of orbs made of bamboo bars

the roof an ancient leather pulled taunt

a drum beat started pulsing

the vibrations shaking primal

setting into motion

the pod, the me, the earth, the galaxy

flora and fauna, the mystic, the naysayer

the gods and goddesses, humanity

all energy, all matter fixed and condensed

shaken not stirred for a second in time

there were sights never seen by human eyes

voices singing songs from other dimensions

walking for days, months, years

elvis the exit had left the building

the sun rising and setting but never darkness

finally the roller coaster again

“o my dear friend, to stir my passion

seduce me into self seduction…

let me see the world again swirling on your rails”

climbing on the heavy bar against my pelvis

the topless tram chugged forward

and the world faded away

i was there, alone, deserted

with no control, my life void of living

i only see the world flying by

small dots of others

skittering and scattering

doing things the living do

i live away from that

despite desire and despair i ride

because what do you do

when the roller coaster

doesn’t stop for you